Confidence can be described as “a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.” Isn’t this easier said then done? Perhaps confidence comes from what was said when you were a child, or the successes you have already encountered in your life, or perhaps it comes from a greater ego. Whatever drives your confidence, or holds you back; it is true that confidence is usually found on a continuum in life.
Let me explain. When I go to the dance studio, and support the dancers I feel confident. I have had great success in helping even the most anxious dancers take the stage and perform to their best ability. My confidence is greater still when they come off stage and announce, “That was the best moment ever!”
When it comes to presenting I feel confident, I have had success and failure; I have learned and continued to build tools, skills and excitement while speaking and presenting to audiences of all kinds. When I do have a failure, or mishap I can work through it, knowing it is making me stronger and more successful.
And then there is the “business side” of speaking. I am confident when taking all the skills, tools and strengths from all the reading, studying, and learning I have done to be the best coach I can be; but when it comes to my business, I lose confidence. What does that look like…questioning myself, comparing my success to others, holding back from taking risks or trying new things and the list goes on. So, what do you do to build the confidence in the areas of life that fall short on the continuum? I call it Get!
- Get a coach! Ok, so I am not confident in the business side…I get a coach; a business coach that has the confidence to coach me to success. This coach takes the questioning and challenges it, she stops me in my tracks when I start to compare, and she encourages and mentors me to take the steps and risks for success. A coach is someone that builds you up, when your own lack of confidence hits you or your stuck on an idea that you can’t move forward.
- Get moving! When I start to lose confidence, I change my settings, scenery, and situation. If I stay stagnate, I will never move ahead. For example, I was working from home for several hours, and was getting stuck on one business opportunity I could go for. I needed to write a proposal for this opportunity, but suddenly felt I didn’t have enough knowledge, insight, or creativity to complete it. I stood up, got in my car and went to Starbucks to work. I met a friend in Starbucks who made me laugh, felt the fresh air from the door opening and closing and listened to the music which is not my “kind” of music. Within an hour, I had finished the proposal, smiled at it and pressed send. Get Moving!
- Get another opinion! If you are losing your confidence, ask a friend to walk through the task, or decision with you. One time my client came to me and said she was done with it. She stated she was no good at speaking and that it was too much work. I gave her another opinion. I reminded her of the time she gave the most powerful speech for her sister who was getting married, that she was asked to give this presentation because of her incredible knowledge on the topic and shared with her a story of someone who had gone from a scared speaker to a speaker making $5000.00 a speech. Sometimes when we lose confidence, we need a reminder of why we are put in the position to complete a task, or make a decision. It’s easier for a friend or coach or help you remember the strength you do have.
What are your abilities? Start by making a list of all the incredible things you have done, that you are proud of and that keep you alive and excited each and everyday. When your confidence gets stuck, get coached, get moving and get another opinion, besides your own. Even with a lack of confidence some days in my business, there is a reason I have lasted 10 years, waking everyday with gratitude, energy and love for what I do.