Do men have an advantage in the speaking world? Yes, they do. I know I will get some pushback on this; but hear me out. Growing up, you heard the old phrase “Wait until your father gets home!” and you knew your father had the last word. Other authority figures, from sports announcers to priests to the prime minister, are male. We are used to hearing the male voice. It sounds familiar and has a confidence and clarity that we’re comfortable listening to. Thank goodness this is changing! Women are increasingly showing up and owning the stage. This is exactly how it should be. That said, as a society we still have a few old habits to break.
If you doubt this, just look at the history of World Champions of public speakers through Toastmasters International. Although this has changed somewhat in recent years, Toastmasters International Speaking Champions have historically been mostly men. A recent International Women’s Day Conference in Toronto had an all-male speaking panel, if you can believe it. Men have led the mark on top-dollar for speakers at main stage, well-known conferences.
I believe this is partly due to history, confidence, and familiarity. But I also think there is another important factor: men’s clothing and appearance. As women, we need to be aware of the advantages men have when professionally dressed. The classic suit and tie is the uniform of the professional man, and it has been that way for over a century. In that time, women have gained rights and freedoms that have transformed society for the better. Despite all these changes, men show up to speaking events dressed in the same clothes their grandfathers wore.
What makes the suit so special? The key is its uniformity. Because a suit is so familiar, we easily look past it without distraction. When a male speaker takes the stage, I have nothing to look at (sorry guys). I start my experience with listening.
Yes, suits can often be a little boring to look at. But that’s the point: With men’s clothes there is nothing to distract you. A man’s suit says “I have something to say and I deserve to be heard.”
Also, men have fewer choices when it comes to hair. They typically have short hair or are completely bald, and most are clean shaven. Plus, men don’t wear makeup. But as women, we’re constantly asking ourselves “is my makeup right?” and “should I wear my hair up or down?” and… the list goes on. Not only do bald men have an easier time getting ready, they don’t have anything to hide their faces. With bald men, we can see reaction, emotion, and expression all in the face. Ladies, I’m not saying you have to shave your head! But make sure your face is visible to the audience.
Time and time again I notice that audiences fixate on women’s outfits rather than their message. So when dressing for a speaking event, simple and smart goes a long way. Choose solid neutrals over bright hues and keep your accessories small and understated. You don’t want them thinking “Wow, can she walk in those shoes?” or “The jewelry is interfering with the mic.” The point is to remove distractions so your audience can focus on your message.
Now, I’m not saying that you have to dress in masculine clothes to be taken seriously. Of course you can be feminine and professional at the same time. A skirt and heels can be a good choice. If you’re a woman who likes more masculine clothing, embrace it! Do what’s right for you, because your clothes should never feel like a costume.
How you gender yourself, whether masculine or feminine or somewhere in between, is a deeply personal issue. It’s important to wear clothes that make you feel like your authentic self when you’re on stage. When you feel authentic, your confidence is increased. That confidence is projected to the audience when you speak and your message will be more powerful.
Of course, just because a woman presents herself a certain way doesn’t mean she isn’t as or more capable than her male peers. But the truth is that people judge women more for their appearance than they do men. A simple, smart look can help your audience focus on the message. Women, we have what it takes and more. Let’s build an amazing community of women speakers so that our sound is familiar and our confidence shines. Let’s be the lead in platform speaking. Let’s own our stage.